


The Nightingale

by GraySonOfGotham



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Anal Sex, Dick Grayson was Nightwing, Fluff, Forgiveness, Guilt, Identity Porn, Jason Todd Has Issues, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Resurrected Jason Todd, Returning Home, Stripper Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-10-20 23:57:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20684087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraySonOfGotham/pseuds/GraySonOfGotham
Summary: Crushed by the guilt of Jason’s death, Dick quits the vigilante life and runs away to New York City to be an exotic dancer at the Nightingale.





	1. Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> [This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022676) is the beautiful art by [wilde_stallyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilde_stallyn) for this fic! Thank you so much for your diligent work!

“I’m so sorry, Bruce. I- It’s all my fault, and I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”

“I know, I- I know, but I can’t- I don’t-”

“Dick, there’s nothing you can do to make it better anymore. This is probably best. For you and for me.”

“I’m s-sorry! I can’t express how- how much I re-regret it, and I- I would do anything to g-get another chance t-to fix it. You- You have to believe me, B.”

“I do, but you don’t have another chance. Not at saving him, but you can save yourself.”

“I don’t- I don’t want to save myself.”

“Which is why you have to.”

“I… I miss him, B.”

“I miss him too.”


	2. Bloody Marys and Bad Choices

“Saturday night, boys! C’mon, c’mon, get moving! Y’all know when you’re supposed be going on, right?”

“Yes, Robert,” came a chorus of voices.

“’Yes, Robert’, ‘Coming, Robert’, ‘We’re ready, Robert’. None of you _look _ready! The group dance is supposed to be going on in ten minutes and none of you have even _started _stretching!” The yelling man, Robert, was red in the face now, his mustache twitching on his tomato face. He was sweating rather profusely as well. “If you don’t get yourselves together, I’m gonna fire all your asses!” he roared before throwing his clipboard down on the ground and stomping out of the room.

The ten men that had been lazing around the room looked at each other.

Finally, one of them pushed himself off the wall. “Alright, kiddos,” he said. “You heard him. Stretches.”

A murmur of groans and complaints rose, but everyone got into an orderly formation, one that was familiar to everyone.

“Start stretching, and I’m going to read the order of dances tonight, ‘kay?” The man clapped his hands together. “Look alive! I know you’re tired from the four hour rehearsal yesterday, but the club has been specially booked tonight, so we can’t fuck it up, got it?”

Everyone started stretching, either alone, or helping each other.

The man at the front of the room picked up the clipboard Robert threw. He flipped over the first few pages then cleared his throat. “We have Dixon, Sebastian, and Ryan opening for us tonight. Robert’s going to say something afterwards, but he’s going to keep it short. Then, Mark and Andre have a duet with the pyrotechnics. Dom and I have solo performances following theirs. Andre, Ryan, Sean and Nicky have a group routine. And of course, as per usually, Richie has the grand finale. Got that?”

A dancer in the back of the room spoke up. “Why does Dick always get the finale?”

The man in front sighed, lowering the clipboard. “Because he’s the best dancer. And because he also gets the most tips from the audience, and we have a tough audience tonight. Now stop being so jealous, Dom. You have a solo.”

The dancer, Dom, snorted. “And Dick _always _has a solo.”

“I don’t dance as well with others,” Dick said, sitting in the splits, and reaching towards his right foot. “Suck it up, Dom.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dick,” Dom snapped. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “You were talking about me. In front of me.” He stood and stretched, his tank lifting. He flashed Dom a smile. “Talk to Robert if you want to get the finale someday. I don’t mind.”

Then, he walked out of the room, leaving the other dancers to their stretching. He walked down the hall to costumes.

“Hey, Marie,” Dick greeted.

The girl who practically had her head stuck into a rack of clothes turned to look at him. “Oh, Dick!” she said, smiling. “Hey! How are you feeling? Heard about the four hour rehearsal yesterday.”

Dick grimaced. “A tad bit sore, but I think some of the other boys are worse off.”

Marie laughed. “So tonight’s a big night, right?”

“Yup,” Dick said. “Entire club is reserved. Some big gang meeting or something.”

Marie shivered. “I hope nothing bad happens.”

Dick smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect everyone. I’m a police officer remember?”

Marie snorted. “A sexy, stripper police officer. Your props are all plastic and your costume literally covers nothing. I don’t think you’ll do very well.”

“Have some faith, Marie,” Dick said, pretending to be wounded. “Anyway, I wanted to ask if you think you can sneak to the bar and get me a drink before my dance?”

Marie pursed her lips. “Seriously? You’re not supposed to be drinking on the job, Dick!”

“I know, but I dance better when I’ve had a little,” he said with a small smile. “Nothing fancy. Just a cocktail or something.”

Marie rolled her eyes. “If Robert finds out someday, he’ll fire you.”

“Nah, he likes me too much,” Dick said. “Anyway, get me that drink, will ya? I’ll be in my room, concealing and concealing.” He left the costume room with final wave to Marie.

He ducked into the room as the other men came down the hall, chattering loudly. He closed the door and sat in front of the mirror. Dick had his own room for makeup since he had been working at the Nightingale for the longest and made the most money on an average night.

Dick pulled off his tank and his shorts, running his hands down his shaved legs. It was smooth and the skin soft. Dick grabbed the makeup scattered all over the table and started with his right leg.

The scar was nearly invisible after a lot of different treatments to make it as unnoticeable as possible. Most of his old scars had all but disappeared, but a few of the worse ones were still kind of visible under strong light, such as the spotlights of the stage.

So Dick started concealing, humming under his breath.

Then, he hid the smaller one on the outside of his right thigh. The long, but thin one on the inside of his left thigh. The one on his stomach, the one on his right forearm, and the final one on his left collarbone.

There was a knock on the door when he finished.

“Come in,” he called.

The door opened, and Marie walked in, frowning at him. In her hand was a drink, a pretty red.

“Thank you, Marie,” Dick said.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Alright, get dressed,” she said, throwing his costume at him. “Mark and Andre just went on, and Sean and Ryan had a small wardrobe malfunction, so I have to go help them. Good luck, Dick.”

“Thanks again, M!”

Dick sat in front of the mirror, sipping his drink and staring at himself. He studied every inch of his face, his eyes narrowing. He grabbed a hairbrush and brushed his hair out of his face, pulling the hair tie that was around his wrist off with his teeth. He tied it back into a small ponytail. A few pieces fell out, framing his face. Dick sighed. His hair was at the annoying stage where it was not quite long enough to be tied back properly, but it was also long enough to whip into his face when he danced.

He leaned in a little closer, grabbing more makeup and started doing his face. Dick did not like wearing makeup on his face, so he usually kept it very simple, unlike some of the other dancers, who went full out with contour and lipstick and eyeshadow. Dick just stuck with some eyeliner, mascara to bring out his eyes, a bit of concealer to hide the shadows under his eyes, tad bit of bronzer for a little emphasis, and a bit of gloss for his lips.

In the end, he still looked like Dick, just enhanced. He laid out the pieces of his costume. Black, spandex booty shorts, a faux bulletproof vest, a police man cap, and of course, handcuffs.

He heard the faint last notes of Chad’s music from the end of the hall. A minute later, the music for the group dance started, and Dick quickly got dressed. He looked at himself one more time in the mirror, biting his lip. Not bad.

He smiled and knocked back the rest of his drink. Then, he opened the door to his room and started down the hall again.

He walked up the steps to the edge of the stage, peeking through the wings to catch a glimpse of the dance.

The dance was a favorite of their regulars, fast paced, hot, and sexy. But admittedly, after doing it every night for so many years, Dick had grown very tired of it. He was glad he did not have to do group routines much anymore.

He peered into the dark club instead, narrowing his eyes to try and see who the audience consisted of. Usually, Dick can get a pretty good idea how to tease the crowd from a quick look.

There were not many. Maybe twenty to twenty five men, some with women hanging off their arms. They all looked decently drunk, obviously leering at the strippers on stage.

Dick grimaced. While he loved being the only performer on stage, and being the best out of all the dancers, there was one thing he hated about doing the finale.

By then, most of the people were usually wasted, and then they would get handsy, grabbing and touching. But on the other hand, they also gave up their money easier.

The dance ended, smoke filling the stage as the lights dimmed and the dancers disappeared. Dick moved quickly into position, hands on the pole in the center of the stage.

The lights flickered up again, blinding and hot. But it was then, that Dick could let go. He closed his eyes, letting the music flow through him. It was much slower than the previous dance, giving Dick the time to give his audience a sensual experience.

Dick moved with the fluidity he never lost.

After leaving Gotham, after he finally decided to get back on his feet, Dick had made a lot of changes. He spent half a year eating all the junk food he wanted, watching as hard muscle faded into soft, pliable flesh. Dick did not go to the gym, instead, doing gymnastics and yoga. It kept his body slim, but not super muscular. He made sure of that.

He also went to some of the best places for scar removal. Dick let his hair grow out, and he changed his name. He was just Richard Green now. Bruce had gotten him new documents, and he got a new identity. He moved to New York City, settling in a small apartment just outside the hustle and bustle of Town Square and surrounding places.

He found a job at the Nightingale, a high end nightclub, where he became an exotic dancer, or as most people called them, strippers.

Dick threw his head back, letting the vest fall from his shoulders and onto the floor. He vaguely heard several leers and catcalls from the audience, but he ignored it. Dick sank to his knees, legs spread at the front of the stage.

He felt a hand graze up his thigh, and he opened his eyes. Dick smirked and shook his head at the man, standing back up and moving away. He walked his way down the stage, scanning the crowd for this part of his dance.

He spotted a man sitting near the back of the crowd, seemingly uninterested. Now, that cannot do. Dick needed all eyes on him. He walked over, gently plucking the drink from the man’s hand.

“Hey, handsome,” he said. “Fancy a dance?”

The man blinked at him. “I’m- I’m fine,” he said, sounding flustered. Flustered was good.

Dick smiled. “I insist,” he said into the man’s ear. He trailed a hand through the man’s ginger hair, gently pulling his head back to look up at Dick. He felt a hand on his ass, and Dick turned at gently removed the offending hand. “No touching.”

Dick then began giving the first man a lap dance, throwing his own head back, letting the light hit his slightly sweaty skin at just the right angle. Dick did not stay long though. Just enough to tease. He slowly made his way back to the stage to finish up the second half of his dance, and he gave the man a wink, feeling his eyes all the way back to the stage.

He felt someone catch his wrist on his way back. He turned, ready to tell the man not to touch.

“What’s your name, beautiful?” the man asked, his eyes burning with desire.

Dick smiled. He pulled his wrist from the man’s grip. “Richie.” Then, he stepped back onto the stage. For the entire last half of the dance, Dick kept his eyes on the man that grabbed his wrist.

Dick knew the signs. Just a little more pushing and that man would definitely ask for a private dance later. Dick preferred private dances. Robert had a rule that whatever money they earned from a private dance was entirely theirs. And all of Dick’s clients always payed generously.

Dick also noticed that there was a redhead woman sitting next to the man, her arms crossed and glaring at Dick. Dick gave her a wink. If her man was a honest man, he would not ask for a private room, but he obviously was not.

Later, as Dick was counting his tips for the night, there was a knock on his door.

“Yes?”

Robert came in, waddling a bit. “Private room for ya, Richie. Room one. Ya wanna take it?”

“How much is he offering?”

“Three fifty.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dick said, stuffing the rest of the cash into his duffle bag. “Give me five to refresh.”

Robert grunted and left. Dick touched up his makeup, retying his hair, and giving himself one last once over in the mirror.

Then, he started down the hall towards the first of the five private rooms. Dick knocked gently. A muffled, “Come in,” came from inside, and he opened the door.

As Dick expected, it was the man with the redhead girlfriend. He had a drink in his hand, ice clinking together as he swirled it lazily.

“Hello again, Richie,” the man said. “I want a dance. Like the one you gave Micha, but better.”

Dick smiled coyly. “Of course, Mr…?”

“Just call me Jay.”

“Jay,” Dick repeated, his smile twitching slightly. He gritted his teeth together and swallowed the anguish that surged up his throat. “Of course.” He walked over to Jay. “You know the rules?”

Jay nodded, finishing his drink and setting it aside. He settled into the couch, spreading his legs. “C’mere, Richie.” He patted his leg. Dick sat down gingerly, still keeping the smile on his face. Jay’s hands came to a rest on Dick’s hips, and slowly, Dick started gyrating against him.

Dick had become such a good actor in the years of working at the Nightingale that he could let his thoughts run while he still kept up a very convincing performance.

After all, Bruce taught him well.

Dick felt a small pang of nostalgia. He missed Bruce, but he knew that he could not go back. Dick had no contact with anybody from his previous life. He did not speak, visit, or search for any of them. In fact, Bruce was the only one who had any idea what really happened to Dick. Even so, Bruce made a promise not to check in on Dick. After he helped Dick get a new start, they did not know each other anymore. They had no relations, and Bruce would not try to track Dick down.

Dick trusted Bruce enough to hold him to that promise.

Jay’s voice broke through Dick’s thoughts. “Richie,” he gasped. “Mm, when do you get off?”

Dick knew where this was going. “After this,” he answered.

“And how much for a night?” he whispered into Dick’s ear.

Dick stopped, immediately pushing himself away. “Okay,” he said. “Just because I work at a nightclub as a dancer, it does not mean I also sell my body on the side,” he snapped. He hated people like that. “I’m not a prostitute, Mr. Jay. So thank you for your time. If you want a refund, go talk to my boss.” He turned on his heels and started to go.

“I wasn’t insinuating that.”

“Sure sounded like it,” Dick said, still walking towards the door.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted a drink after you get off. On me,” Jay said.

Dick kept walking.

“Your bartender makes one hell of a Bloody Mary.”

Dick stopped, turning slowly. His eyes narrowed. “How’d you know I-”

Jay smirked. “I smelled it on your breath.”

Dick frowned. “That’s not possible. I had several breath mints before going on. And that was an hour ago.”

Jay shrugged.

“I’m still leaving,” Dick said, turning slower than before.

“Okay, I saw your costume lady getting it from the bar.”

“And how’d you know it was for me?”

“Because she was bitching to your bartender about how ‘Dick seriously needs to stop sneaking drinks before his dances’,” Jay said. “I connected the dots after that. Richie, Richard, Dick.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

Dick crossed his arms, turning back around. “Who are you?”

Jay smiled. “Now, that sounds like a date question. Which was what I was _actually _insinuating before,” Jay said, looking a bit embarrassed. “It just… came out wrong. I meant to ask something around the lines of ‘what would it take to convince you to go out with me.”

“I don’t date strangers,” Dick said, still frowning.

“Great, just drinks then.”

“I don’t date, period.”

“It’s not a date. Just drinks, Dick. Can I call you that?”

“No.”

“Fair enough. Richie, want to get some drinks after this? As an apology,” Jay said quickly.

“What about your girlfriend? She looked like she was about to skewer me.”

“Girlfriend?” Jay looked genuinely confused. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Uh huh, the redhead.”

“Oh, she’s my best friend. We’re just friends. She gets annoyed when I see pretty boys I can't have, but she’ll get over it.” Jay paused a moment. “Soooo will my luck change tonight?”

Dick sighed heavily, unable to keep himself from quirking a tiny smile. He could use a drink right now. “Fine.”

“Great,” Jay said. “Then, are we done here, or…?”

Dick rolled his eyes. “Give me ten minutes to get dressed, and I’ll meet you at the bar.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you came like that.”

A glare from Dick made Jay laugh and hold his hands up in surrender. Dick left the private room, going to get dressed and wipe all the makeup off.

He removed the makeup with a few wipes, brushed his hair back out, pulled on his jeans and black tank top. Then, he grabbed his duffle bag, shouldered it, and headed out of his room. He returned the costume to Marie, gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.

Dick took a deep breath before walking into the dimly lit club, making his way to the bar. Few people paid him any attention. He spotted Jay sitting at the bar, talking with Grace, their bartender.

“Hey, Gracie,” Dick said, sitting down. “My usual, on him.” He jerked his thumb at Jay. Grace looked between them before shrugging and started making Dick’s drink.

“So, Dick,” Jay said, leaning against the bar counter. “Tell me about yourself.”

Dick gave him a half-glare. He took the drink from Grace, and drank half of it in one gulp.

“Woah, slow down,” Jay laughed. “We have all night.”

“I’m not quite drunk enough to be doing this,” Dick said. “I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to.”

Jay smiled, watching Dick drink his cocktail. Dick looked at Jay from over the rim of his drink.

In the dim light, Dick could make out most of Jay’s features. Dark hair, blue-ish eyes, sharp chin and cheekbones. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a low scoop, showing off his admittedly amazing collarbones, worn leather jacket and black jeans. He was not bad looking at all.

“What?” Dick asked, finishing off his drink.

“Nothing,” Jay said with a shake of his head. “I like your hair down,” he said instead.

Dick brushed a hand through his hair without thinking. “Thanks… I guess. I’m sorry, but what are you trying to gain from all this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a part of this gang, I’m assuming, since you’re at this get together of theirs, and it’s not like I have any information. Why are you talking to me?” Dick asked, feeling a bit unnerved by the way Jay was watching him, eyes bright and a small smile playing on his lips. He looked the very part of the dark, handsome, bad boy character. Dick felt the alcohol kicking in and a bit of fluttering in his stomach. “Grace, I need another drink. Stronger, please.”

Grace handed him two shots, and Dick took both of them in a row. He swallowed, grimacing. Jay only looked more amused and charmed by him, slowly sipping his own drink.

“I don’t even know you,” Dick said, pointing a finger at Jay. “I said, I don’t date strangers, didn’t I?”

“And I said, this isn’t a date,” Jay responded calmly.

“Then what is this?” Dick asked.

Jay smiled wider, showing his perfect teeth. “Whatever you want it to be.”

Dick stared at him, incredulous. He had no idea what to make of that answer. “Is that even an answer?”

“If you take it as one.”

“I’m getting the feeling I’m never going to get a straight answer from you,” Dick said, eyes narrowing.

Jay smiled mischievously around his glass. “Well, I’m not exactly straight either,” he said.

Dick stared at him for another second longer, watching his throat move as he swallowed the last of his vodka.

Dick stood, pushing his stool back. He grabbed his bag. “Fine,” he said curtly. “Let’s go.”

Jay stood as well. “We’re are we going, Dick?” he teased.

“Your place, my place, whatever. Let’s just go,” Dick said.


	3. Blue(berry)

They went to Jay’s hotel room. They kissed, they fucked, end of story.

That is, until they finished, and Dick collapsed onto the bed next to Jay. “Fuck,” Dick gasped, pushing his hair out of his face.

“Mhm,” Jay agreed, rolling over to face Dick. “You going to stay the night? Or should I take you back to your place?”

“Don’t know,” Dick mumbled, already half-asleep.

Jay laughed quietly. “Look, I have some things to take care of tonight, but you’re free to stay,” he said. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning, and I’ll treat you to breakfast if you’re still here. And a ride to work, should you need it.”

“Sundays off,” Dick said.

Jay put a hand on Dick’s waist, his thumb running over his hip. “I like your tattoo,” he whispered.

Dick tensed up a bit. Dick had gotten a tattoo a year after moving to NYC. It was on his right hip, where it was usually hidden by his clothes, even when he danced. It was a small bird, flying. Few knew it was there.

“Got it when I was drunk one night,” Dick said. “Too lazy to get it removed.” Most people just laugh and forget about it after that answer. It was a lie, of course. Dick got the tattoo as a painful reminder to himself of who he used to be, and he failure he had been.

“Hm, really?” Jay asked, giving Dick an amused smile. “You don’t seem the type.”

“And you know my type?” Dick asked with a challenging tone to his voice.

“Possibly,” Jay said. “Anyway, go to sleep. You must be tired.”

“And you’re going?”

“Soon,” Jay said with a sigh. “Wish I could stay though. I do love post coital cuddles.”

Dick snorted into the pillow. “You don’t seem the type.”

Jay laughed quickly, pulling Dick in a bit closer by the waist. Dick felt a brush of lips on his temple. “Night, Dick. Sleep well.”

“Mhmmhm,” Dick managed before falling asleep.

He slept all through the night, waking up when he heard the door open and close. Dick sat up, yawning and looking around. There was a light knock on the bedroom door.

“C’min,” Dick said, yawning again.

The door opened, and Jay poked his head in. “Hey, did I wake you? I brought breakfast, like I promised.”

“What’d you get?”

“Blueberry pancakes, still hot.”

Aside from cereal, pancakes were Dick’s absolute favorite. It was just enough to convince him to get out of bed. He rolled himself out of bed, stretching, still naked.

“Mind if I shower first?” he asked.

Jay shook his head. “Be my guest. But um, I have to get going again in a couple hours.”

“S’alright,” Dick smiled. “I wasn’t even planning on staying this long. I’ll be out of your hair in half an hour.”

Jay’s eyes widened. “It’s nothing, really! You can stay a bit longer, I wouldn’t mind. Stay until tonight and maybe we can have a repeat of last night…?” He sounded hopeful.

Dick laughed. “Sorry, man. But I have some errands to run today as well. Thanks for the offer though.”

Jay smiled. “Yeah, sure thing. Bathroom’s just through that door.” Then, he poked his head back out the door and shut it.

Dick yawned, rubbing his eyes as he made his way towards the bathroom. He looked around the hotel room. There were no signs of luggage of any kind, so maybe the hotel room was rented just for a night. Dick did not remember Jay booking a room when they came in though.

He went into the bathroom, decently sized, with a large bath and shower combo. He let the steaming water run over him. It felt like heaven on his sore muscles, washing away the sticky dried sweat feeling off his skin.

Dick stepped out of the shower only to remember he did not exactly have a change of clothes with him. He did usually have a spare change of clothes in his bag, which had been tossed by the doorway. Sighing, Dick wrapped a towel around his waist, and one in his wet hair before walking out of the bathroom and to the mini kitchen area. The hotel room was a suite, but not too fancy of one. It bordered on the edge of lavish, but was definitely better than what Dick had when he traveled, which was also not often.

Jay was on the phone, pacing the kitchen area, which was coincidentally by the door. He look mildly annoyed.

“-Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll get right to it. I have someone over right now, so if you’ll give me a couple hours to get things sorted out-” he paused and the other person yelled a few muffled sentences. “I said, I know! I’m nearly done here anyway. I’ll come back in a couple days… I don’t care if it’s an emergency! Get someone else to fill in for me until I get back! Now don’t call me back!”

Dick was halfway back to the bedroom when Jay looked up.

“Oh, hey,” Jay said with a small smile. “Sorry you had to hear that.”

“It’s fine!” Dick said, smiling. “I’m just grabbing my clothes.”

Jay let his eyes run down Dick’s bare chest. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Dick gave a good-natured roll of his eyes and closed the door to the bedroom. He changed into a blue t-shirt and cargo shorts. Then, he toweled his hair a bit and went back out.

Jay was already seated, swiping through his phone and sitting at the small square table. Dick took the seat opposite to him.

“Wow, looks amazing,” Dick said. “Where’d you get this?”

“Ah, just some little restaurant down the street,” Jay said, waving his hand. “Got it on my way back, so it was no hassle.”

“Hm,” Dick said, taking a bite. The pancakes were delicious.

“So you dance often at the Nightingale?” Jay asked, lightly drizzling some syrup on his pancakes. “You were much better than the other dancers there last night.”

Dick snorted. “Don’t let them hear that. They already dislike me enough.”

“Really?” Jay asked. “Why’s that?”

“Well, not all of them. Just a few. They always complain that I get solos and Robert, our boss, prefers to give me the finales,” Dick said with a shrug. “Nothing I can’t handle though.”

“And you dance every night?”

Dick smirked. “Why do you want to know? Hoping to catch another dance? Sorry about that, but I don’t do the same men twice.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “I was just curious, trying to make polite conversation. If you would prefer sit in awkward silence, I’m happy to oblige.”

Dick laughed. “I’m teasing. I work Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Mondays and Wednesdays are with the boys, Fridays and Saturdays we’re mixed with the girls.”

“There are female str- dancers at the Nightingale?” Jay asked, eyebrows raising. “Why was the show all men yesterday?”

“Apparently your group _requested_ it to be all male dancers?” Dick said with a sarcastic touch. “I don’t know. But yes, there are girls. More girls than guys, in fact.”

“Huh. And are you as popular with the ladies as you are with men?” Jay asked, smirking around his fork. “You must have fun every night of the week.”

He was not expecting Dick’s glare. “I don’t sleep around. I might be a _stripper, _but I’m not a slut.”

Jay’s eyes widened. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I just- sorry.” He ducked his head and stuffed his mouth.

Dick sighed. “It’s okay. Common misconception.” He pressed his lips into a tight line. “In fact, you’re the second person I’ve come back with in the three and a half years I’ve work at the Nightingale.”

“Oh, really? It didn’t really take much,” Jay said. “No offense.”

Dick snorted. “None taken. It’s been a while anyway. And you aren’t too hard on the eyes.”

“Thanks for the gracious compliments, Dickhead,” Jay said. “No need to be so generous.”

“Like your ego needs more boosting,” Dick laughed. “Anyway, enough about me. What about you? How’d you end up working in with a gang? Wait, let me guess, your redhead friend?”

Jay smiled wryly. “Sort of. It’s a really, long and complicated story.”

“Give me the basics. I love a good action story.”

“So my friend owed the gang leader some money. She didn’t know at the time he was a gang leader or anything, so she was kind of tricked into the whole thing. And when she couldn’t pay up, she had to promise two years of service to him. Then, I got unfortunately dragged into the whole thing, the boss took a liking on me for some unfathomable reason and agreed to let me take half of my friend’s debt. So we’re each doing a year,” Jay explained. “I promise I’m not doing anything too bad though. Just the usual drug dealings kind of thing, and not to kids, promise.”

“Well, I can’t tell you how to live your life. But you’re a good friend, to take half of your best friend’s debt. But… you have money, don’t you? I mean, this hotel is really nice hotel, and this is one of its nicer rooms. It couldn’t have been cheap.”

Jay blinked at Dick a couple times. “Observant, aren’t you? Okay, I’m not poor, but I wouldn’t say I’m horribly rich either. I can live pretty comfortably and still have a little on the side, if you will. And after meeting me, the boss wouldn’t accept money anymore.” His lips curled into a sneer.

“And how much longer do you and your friend have?”

Jay grinned widely. “Just the end of this week, actually. Then we’re free to go.”

Dick gave Jay a look. “You should still be careful though. If your boss really did likes you that much, he will find a way to try to get you to stay.”

Jay’s eyes narrowed for a split second, then he smiled. “Aw, worried about me, aren’t you?”

“You wish.”

Jay finished the last bite of his pancakes and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He stood. “I really wish I could stay and chat a while more, but I promised my friend I’d meet up with her to make sure you didn’t kill me last night,” he said with a joking smile. Then, his smile softened. “See… See you around?”

Dick paused, looking up at Jay. He swallowed hard. “Yeah, sure. See ya… Jay.”

Jay gave Dick one more smile, a quick peck on the cheek, and then, he was gone.


	4. Butterfly

Dick carefully dusted the silver glitter onto his cheekbones, angling his face towards the light. He grabbed the lipstick, covering his lips with a dark, dark red. It looked nearly black. He leaned into the mirror, checking the large butterfly he had painted onto his face.

The butterfly’s blue wings stretched from his temples to mid-cheek, going over his eyes, and meeting at his nose. It looked like a giant mask, painted over his face. Dick had to swallow back whatever was coming up his throat.

He took a shaky deep breath. He pulled his hair back into its usual low ponytail, and went over to where his costume lay.

He put on the tight black shirt, and the black spandex shorts. Then, he slipped the silver hoops around his wrists, and opened his arms. Thin, sheer cloth spread out on either side of him. Butterfly wings.

Dick was doing a group dance tonight, but he was not going to be dancing with the other girls. He was supposed to be the center, doing a solo while the other girls with the actual stripping part.

It had been Marie’s idea, actually. She had gotten tired of designing scandalous costumes and had brought it up with Robert. They came up with an idea to try something a little different.

A new dance. A slower song, with more grace, still as enticing as before, but less skin, more imagination. There were four other girls who were going to be dancing with Dick. They were also butterflies, with similar costumes, black from head to toe with silky wings attached to silver hoops on their wrists.

But their wings were silver, not blue, like Dick’s. He was still going to be the center of attention, the most beautiful.

Dick walked out of his dressing room, starting down the hall. He listened to Robert introduce the new dance, doing a brief explanation, while he gave himself a mental pep talk.

After high fives with the four girls, he watched them step out onto the stage. They started the dance, circling each other, their powerful moves filled with grace. Dick smiled softly. When his cue came, he stepped onto the stage, his wings open, like he was flying.

Dick sorely missed flying. He missed the real wind rushing past his face, the drop of his heart as he fell before the tugging of a line, pulling him back up.

But now, this was as close as Dick could get to flying. He danced, his eyes closed, no need for them to be open to remember his steps, to hear the music, to sense his surroundings.

But when he did open his eyes, after being momentarily blinded by the stage lights, his eyes immediately landed on someone sitting in the front, lazily swirling a glass of amber liquid.

Dick nearly faltered. For a second, he thought he saw a ghost. The ghost of a young boy - the same young boy Dick failed to watch over and protect. A blink and the boy was gone, but the person in the front was familiar after all. Dick managed to regain control of himself quickly, without a misstep in his routine. He finished his dance with no further blips, making his way off stage quickly. He got changed, wiping off his butterfly and changing. He was done to for the night, but before he left, Dick wanted to catch someone.

“Hey,” he called, adjusting his bag.

Jay turned away from the dancers on the stage, swallowing the last of his drink. “Hey, yourself,” he said. “Surprised to see me back here?”

“Not particularly,” Dick lied. He looked closely at Jay's face but had a hard time seeing the young boy he thought he saw. But of course Dick was not supposed to see the boy in Jay's face. They really did not look that much alike. “You did ask about my schedule.”

Jay laughed casually. “I guess I did. Care for a drink? On me.”

Dick hesitated a split moment before agreeing. He ordered a Bloody Mary, as usual. They sat down at the bar, facing each other. “So, what brings you back here?”

“What, I can’t come see my favorite dancer?” Jay teased.

Dick rolled his eyes.

Jay sighed, taking a slow sip of his bourbon. “Well, it’s my last night in NYC. Was passing by this place. Thought I’d stop by and say hello. Or goodbye, really.”

Dick raised his eyebrows. “You’re leaving? Really?” he asked.

Jay shrugged. “Yeah, I am. Really. Getting out of the city for a while. The past year has been… crazy, so to say. Think I’m going to head back home for a few months, maybe travel around a bit.”

“When are you leaving tomorrow?” Dick asked. He tried to pull it off as nonchalant, but it failed.

“Noon,” Jay said. “Aw, you’re not going to miss me, are you?”

Dick laughed weakly. “Maybe a tiny bit. Which is kind of ridiculous. I’ve only known you, what, no more than ten hours?”

Jay smirked. “Was I that good?”

“Good enough.”

He leaned in. “Then how about we go back to my hotel again… use that king sized bed one last time before I check out tomorrow?” His lips grazed Dick’s earlobe. Dick swallowed hard, his hand clenching around his glass.

“Why the fuck not?” he found himself replying.

~

“Oh, fuck,” Jay breathed out. He leaned back onto the bed, squeezing his eyes shut. “Mm, just like that, Dick. Fuck, that’s good.” He threaded his fingers into Dick’s hair, tugging gently.

Dick pulled back, popping of Jay’s cock with a wet slurping sound. “We’re just getting started,” he said.

Jay pulled at his long hair a bit more insistently. “Well start faster.”

Dick rolled his eyes, then let himself be pulled back down. He opened his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head of Jay’s cock twice before taking him down to the hilt. He gagged, tears springing up in his eyes, but he stayed down, bobbing only a few inches up and down.

He pressed his tongue to the underside of Jay’s cock, sliding up slowly and letting his tongue drag up his length.

Jay gasped lightly, his eyes screwing shut further. “Fuck, I want to fuck you now, please, Dick, please.”

Dick pulled back again obediently. He got up and leaned over Jay on the bed, his hands propping him up on either side of Jay’s head. “So polite,” Dick murmured, leaning down and pressing a filthy kiss to Jay’s mouth.

Jay took this opportunity to hook his arms around Dick’s neck, flipping them around easily. He broke the kiss and smirked down at Dick. The moonlight that spilled between the closed curtains made Jay’s eyes look brighter and sharper than normal. His smile was wolfish and sent a shiver down Dick’s spine.

A memory flashed through his mind for a split second. Dick, being thrown down on a sparring mat by a tiny, crowing boy dressed in bright colors. The masked teen grinning down at him victoriously, and Dick laughing. It was the first time he had been thrown down under the boy. Dick laughed the best he could with the bar pressed against his throat.

_“I give, Little Wing, I give.”_

Dick blinked, thrown back into the present. His breath caught in his throat for a second, and he let out a small sound, eyes wide. Jay did not notice.

Jay kicked his pants off and started working on taking off Dick’s shorts. He pulled them down and tossed them across the room. He then put his hand in the middle of Dick’s chest, still smirking down at him.

“Fuck, Dick, I’m going to make you feel so good,” he murmured, his hand trailing down his chest, down to his slim, tight stomach, and grabbed Dick’s hard cock, pumping it a couple times. “Grab the lube for me, will you?”

Dick groaned quietly, pushing his hips up to meet Jay’s hand once before reaching over and opening the drawer by the bed. He felt around blindly for the bottle he saw Jay put in there last time and grabbed a condom while he was at it.

He tossed the objects to Jay, hoping to have hit the man in the face, but Jay caught them, sticking his tongue out at Dick. He opened the bottle of lube with a flick of his thumb, coating his fingers generously.

He pushed Dick’s legs up with his other hand, maneuvering his ass up towards Jay. Then, he took his finger and gently circled his rim, giving Dick a second to mentally prepare before he pushed in.

Dick let out a low groan. “No need to be gentle,” he breathed. “You can- You can work faster,” he said. As he said that, Jay pushed in his second finger, and Dick cried out at the sharp burn.

“You okay?” Jay asked.

“Fine, fine,” Dick said. “Keep going.”

Jay let out a humming noise but started thrusting his fingers in and out. He pushed in another finger after half a minute, only giving Dick a few seconds to adjust before resuming his rough thrusting.

When Dick was breathing hard and moaning wantonly, he pulled his fingers out and wiped the excess lube on the covers.

“Ew, gross, don’t- don’t do that,” Dick complained, lifting his head off of the pillows just a bit. His half lidded eyes did not make it seem like he actually minded much.

“What? It’s practical,” Jay said, ripping open the condom packaging.

Dick let his head fall back. “You’re sleeping on that side of the bed,” he muttered.

Jay laughed quietly as he shifted onto his knees and grabbed Dick’s legs, pulling him closer to him. He lined his cock up to Dick’s hole, hearing the soft gasp as he pushed in gently.

“Fuck,” Dick cursed. “Oh, yesss.”

Jay leaned down, sucking and kissing at the skin on Dick’s neck. “Yeah, baby?” he said between kisses.

“Move, please, move,” Dick gasped. “Now, I need-” His words were cut off by a vicious thrust from Jay, snapping his hips.

He started slowly, using quick snaps of his hips at a slow and steady rhythm, but as Dick’s gasps became more high-pitched, he sped up, his fingers digging into Dick’s hips, certainly leaving bruises.

“You asshole,” Dick managed, his voice strained. “I have… work to- tomorrow!”

“Mm, and I wish I could come watch,” Jay breathed out, biting at Dick’s jaw. “Then, I’ll ask you for drinks… end up back here… rinse and repeat.”

“Fuck, don’t… make promises you… can’t keep,” Dick said, barely getting the words out before he was overwhelmed by the quickly climbing pleasure. He tipped over the edge and came, spurting between his stomach and Jay’s.

Jay snapped his hips even quicker, and with a sharp cry, brought himself over the edge as well. He let himself fall on top of Dick, panting hard. They both took a few minutes to catch their breaths, just lying there. It was uncomfortable, too hot, too sticky, too intimate, but they did not care.

Finally, Jay pulled out of Dick with a groan and rolled over next to him. “Who said I wasn’t planning on keeping that promise?” he asked.

Dick turned to face him, brushing his hair out of his sweaty face. “You’re leaving tomorrow. Unless you’re saying you’re delaying your flight for one more fuck, I don’t think it’s happening.”

Jay smiled. “Well, maybe not tomorrow, so to say, but I come to New York City quite often. Could always pop in when I have a night off.”

“Hm, I don’t really believe you,” Dick said with a small laugh. “but okay. I really don’t mind seeing you again,” Dick said softly. “But next time, let’s go for dinner as well. Not that I don’t enjoy this,” he groaned, sitting up. “But I haven’t had food yet, and my stomach’s complaining.”

Jay sat up quickly. “You’re serious? Why didn’t you say so? Shit, Dick, it’s nearly midnight! The fuck were you thinking? Why didn’t you eat _before _you got to work? What if you had passed out?”

Dick laughed and waved Jay off. “It was a bit too early for dinner, and I had a big lunch. I had been planning on stopping for food after I finished my shift, not expecting you to be there. It’s fine though. I’ve gone longer without food.” He stretched, yawning. “I’ll manage.”

“No, fuck, Dick, you idiot. You could have just said something, and we could have stopped at some fast food place and gotten you something to eat!”

“I’m not allowed to eat fast food,” Dick said with an amused smile.

“Okay, a sandwich or something! Doesn’t matter!”

“Dancers have strict diets to follow.”

“Well, better eating fast food than not eating at all, right? Something about burning muscle.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “Seriously, it’s nothing. I’ll just get more food tomorrow morning,” he said. “Now, will you be joining me in the shower or not?”

Jay sighed heavily. “You go ahead. I have to finish packing.”

“Okay,” Dick said. He firmly shut up that little voice in the back of his head that nagged him about the fact that Jay did not seem to have any luggage with him. Dick stood and shuffled through the bathroom door. He took his time showering, enjoying the amazing water pressure and the never-ending hot water. His own apartment did not give him this type of luxury. When he came out of the bathroom, he found Jay sitting on the bed, wearing only shorts.

“Oh, you changed the sheets?” he asked.

Jay looked up. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “Called someone up.”

“Huh. Troubling people in the middle of the night?”

“It’s their job,” Jay said with an eye roll. “I also ordered room service. It’ll be here in a couple minutes.”

Dick sighed. “Seriously? You really didn’t have to.”

“You need to eat, Dick,” Jay said seriously. “You keep skipping meals and soon you’ll start forgetting to eat altogether and _then_, you’ll know how pesky some people can get.”

Dick huffed. “I _do _eat. Why does everyone assume I don’t eat enough! Am I overly skinny or something?”

“No, but you dance and you practice on a daily basis,” Jay said. “You’ll need the energy, trust me. I know.”

There was a quiet knock on the door, and Jay went over to go get it. He pushed the cart in and set it in front of the bed. “Now eat.”

Dick sighed, adjusting the towel, then sitting down at the edge of the bed. He lifted the top and found a steaming plate of pasta with a side of garlic bread. He picked up the fork, giving Jay one last dirty look, before eating.

It was delicious pasta, he had to admit, and he was pretty hungry, so he was not too upset.

“You’re not going to eat?” Dick asked, taking a bite of the bread.

“No, I ate during dinner time, like most normal people,” Jay said.

“I can’t finish this all by myself.”

“Yes, you can, and you will.”

“Fuck off,” Dick said, with no actual heat behind the words. “So where are you going tomorrow? You said you were heading home?”

Jay nodded. “Yeah. I don’t usually go home much, but I’ve got some business there. Well, technically I’m stopping in Metropolis first, then Gotham.”

Dick’s grip on the fork tightened. “Oh,” he said. He had not had a conversation about Gotham since he had left that city. And he was not planning to. “Then you’re going home?”

Jay laughed. “No, Gotham is my home. Unfortunate, right?”

Dick swallowed. He felt an urge stirring to defend the city. “Not really,” he managed, shoving more food into his mouth. “When will you be back in New York City?”

Jay smirked. “What, you’ll miss me?”

“No, just asking.”

“Probably a few months. I pass through here a lot.”

“Lots of travelling?” Dick asked.

Jay nodded. “Yeah. Tons. I’ve never actually settled down anywhere, now that I think of it. Longest I’ve been anywhere was… here. This past year.”

“Wow. And what about your best friend?” Dick asked.

“Oh, she’s coming with me.”

Dick raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“We travel together. Like, on the go roommates.”

Dick paused his eating. “How did that happen? What do you guys _do_?”

“If I tell you, I’d have to kill you,” he teased. “I have to have to leave some secrets for our first date, don’t you think?”

Dick nearly choked. He washed it down with some water. “So you’re actually planning on coming back?”

“Yes, I am, Dick,” Jay said. He moved to the bed. “Are you done? Because I think we should get some sleep. Busy day for me tomorrow, and you too, I believe.”

Dick pushed the cart outside of the room, and returned to the bed, where Jay was already laying. He climbed into the space next to him, and Jay flipped the covers back over Dick. They turned, facing each other. It felt very intimate.

“Night, Dick,” Jay said, even though his eyes were wide open.

“Good night,” Dick said, also staring into Jay’s eyes, not as tired as he felt before.

But somehow, they managed to fall asleep without the other noticing.


	5. A Couple Punches, Black and Blue

Two months later, Dick was stepping out into the night from the back of the Nightingale after a night of tiring dancing, dressed in black sweats and a blue sweatshirt.

“Hey, Dickie.”

Dick turned in surprise. Leaning against the brick wall a few feet away, was Jay. He wore a leather jacket over a white t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans. Next to him was a shiny motorbike.

Dick’s eyes widened. “Jay! What are you doing back here, huh?” he asked, smiling widely. “I thought you left New York City.”

“I did,” Jay said. He pushed himself away from the wall and started towards Dick. “But I have some business nearby. Just passing through.”

“Business?” Dick asked slowly. “Not…”

“No,” Jay laughed. “I’m not involved with that gang anymore.”

“And that’s good for you!” Dick said seriously. “The day after you left, I heard on the news that someone had killed all the leaders of that gang, and all the other people got arrested.” Dick sighed heavily before giving Jay a small smile. “So, how have you been? You didn’t call or text.”

Jay stopped in front of Dick, reaching down and taking his hands. “Sorry about that,” he said softly. “I lost my phone. Well, I know where it went, but I couldn’t retrieve it.”

“D’you drop it into the toilet and flush it or something?”

“Dropped it into Gotham Bay. I swear I saw a shark eat it,” Jay said with a grin. “Other than that, I’ve been well. Busy, but well.”

“Busy doing what? Do you have a proper job now?”

Jay smiled. “Something like that. I’m an... officer of the law.”

“Oh?” Dick asked, eyebrows shooting up. “Are you now? That’s interesting, since you didn’t seem to care much for the law before.”

Jay chuckled. “I’m kind of… on probation with the boss, and he seems to have it out for me. But my team and I look out for each other, so it’s okay.”

Dick pressed his forehead into Jay’s neck, taking a deep breath and letting his eyes close. “Well, I’m glad you’re safe,” he said quietly.

Jay smiled. “And I’m glad you’re still well. Did you drive here?”

“No,” Dick said. “I live pretty close, so I usually just walk.”

Jay pushed him back. He frowned. “Walk? At this hour of night? Are you crazy?”

Dick blinked. “What? It’s literally five minutes-”

“And you can’t be kidnapped and murdered in five minutes?” Jay snapped. “C’mon, I’m taking you home.” He started pulling Dick towards his bike.

“Hey!” Dick said, pulling his arm out of Jay’s tight grasp. “What are you doing?” He rubbed his arm, frowning at Jay.

Jay’s eyes narrowed. “Dick, let’s go.”

“No way! I’m not going anywhere with you!”

Jay glared at him for another few seconds before deflating. His expression softened. “Okay, sorry,” he said. “I just- I’m not comfortable with you walking alone in the dark. Something could happen to you.”

Dick adjusted his bag on his shoulder, still glaring at Jay. “Well, I’m telling you, I’m fine. I can protect myself. Maria makes me carry pepper spray in my bag, and I’m not completely useless, okay? You don’t have to be so… protective of me. I’m not your boyfriend, you know.”

“I’m not-” Jay started. He stopped, his head lowered, his black hair falling in front of his face. “Look, Dick. I know you don’t know me well-”

“Two days,” Dick snapped. “And the majority of that time was fucking in your hotel room.”

“-but I have this weird sense that I have to keep you safe. I feel… somewhat responsible for you, and I’m worried about your safety and your health. Dick, I…” Jay trailed off. He turned and looked up at Dick, his eyes a bit sad. “Haven’t you ever felt that way before?”

Dick felt like he could not breathe. Yes, yes, he _had _felt that way before. And because of it, it nearly killed him when he could not protect _him_. His one assignment.

“_Watch him, Dick. Make sure he doesn’t do anything reckless,”_ is what Bruce had told him.

But Dick did not do that. Dick swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “Fine,” he said in a strangely choked voice. “You can drive me back home.” Dick shook his head and pushed those memories back down, as far away as he could.

Jay smiled. He pulled another helmet out of his bag and handed it to Dick. He swung his leg over his bike and waited for Dick to get on behind him. “Hold on,” Jay murmured.

Dick wrapped his arms around Jay’s waist, his fists gripping the white t-shirt that covered tight, and if Dick recalled properly, scarred muscles. Jay revved his bike, and he pushed off into the street at a slow pace, completely unlike the roaring speed Dick had expected him to go off at.

“Marigold Avenue,” Dick mumbled, his lips sticking against the cloth of Jay’s jacket. It smelled musty and well-loved.

Dick found it very comfortable to be leaning against Jason, all that hard muscle shifting in Dick’s arms. Part of him wished he did not have the helmet so he could press his face completely into Jay’s jacket and feel the rush of the wind in his hair.

It would feel like flying, he knew it. But instead, Dick just closed his eyes to the wind and held Jay a little tighter.

Too soon, their ride was over. Dick peeled himself off of Jay reluctantly and stared up at his apartment building. He took the helmet off, but he did not give it back immediately. “Um,” he said. “Thanks… for the ride,” he said.

“No problem,” Jay said, giving him a smile.

Dick took a deep breath and gave Jay a weak smile. “You… um, wanna come up for a bit?”

Jay’s eyes widened a little, like he was not expecting it. “Oh, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”

“No!” Dick blurted out. “Oh, _god_, no, you don’t make me uncomfortable! I would- I would actually like that. A lot.”

Jay’s grin grew. “Really?” he asked.

Dick nodded.

“Alright,” Jay said, dismounting. He tucked his own helmet under his arm. “Lead the way, Dickie.”

Dick’s apartment was a bit of mess as he tossed aside a couple of jackets and a water bottle to clear a space for Jay to sit.

“I’m sorry it’s so messy in here,” Dick mumbled. “I’m not good at cleaning, and I wasn’t expecting anyone, and-”

“Dick,” Jay said with a laugh. “It’s _fine_. I don’t mind.”

“Right. You want anything to drink? I’ve got… water. Uh, just water.”

“Water’s perfectly fine, Dickie,” Jay said with a smirk. Dick grabbed two bottles of water and handed one to Jay before drinking half of his own bottle in one nervous gulp.

Jay sipped his water calmly with a look of amusement in his eyes. “You sure I’m not making you nervous?”

Dick took a deep breath. He did feel a bit better. “I’m fine,” he said. “I’m sorry,” he said with a soft chuckle. “I’m not used to having handsome men sitting in my messy apartment and seeing how much of a slob I am.”

Jay laughed, throwing his head back. It was not a mean laugh, so Dick could not help but smile and laugh along with him. “Is it the fact that I’m ‘handsome’, or is it the fact that I’m seeing your messy side that’s making you anxious?” Jay asked.

“Both,” Dick admitted with a bit of a blush. “But it’s okay,” he said. “I’m getting used to it now. The handsomeness.”

“Oh? You’re getting used to it?” Jay teased. “Hm, guess I’ll have to up my game now. Compete with all the other handsome men coming through your apartment.”

Dick choked on his laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that, you jerk!” he said, shoving Jay’s leg with his hand.

Jay’s smile become wild as he wiggled his fingers at Dick, then he lunged forward with a growl to pin Dick onto the couch.

Without a second thought, Dick flipped Jay around, using his own weight against him and had Jay pinned to the couch instead, arm twisted behind his back.

Immediately, Dick let go with a gasp, holding his hands over his horrified mouth. “I am _so _sorry,” he said in a terrified voice. “I don’t- I haven’t- I swear I didn’t mean to do that!” Dick exclaimed. “I’ve never done that before, Jay, I swear, I am-”

To Dick’s surprise, Jay started laughing as he sat up. “Wow,” he said with a low whistle. “Ever thought about doing martial arts, Dickie?”

“I...”

“Didn’t think little thing like you could throw _me _around,” Jay said, rubbing his shoulder with a grin. “Though I take it as a compliment that you’re a bit winded from that.”

“I’m _hyperventilating, _asshole!” Dick said shrilly.

“Aww,” Jay said. He reached forward and embraced Dick, pulling the confused man back onto the couch. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “I’m not mad. Surprised, a bit, but not mad at you. I am curious where you learned such a move though,” he mused quietly while rubbing Dick’s back.

“I… did do martial arts when I was younger,” Dick mumbled. “But it was _years _ago. I thought I forgot all of it.”

“You might forget, but your muscles don’t,” Jay said. He pressed a kiss to Dick’s temple. “It’s really okay though. Didn’t mean to jump you like that.”

Dick leaned into Jay’s touch, and he sighed softly.

Dick had tried so hard to block out his past. He had done so well too. Until Jay showed up in his life.

Still, despite this, Dick found himself drawn to Jay. He was glad when Jay stayed in town for another day, spending it with Dick.

They went on a date. On an _actual _date – shopping, ice cream, lunch, a walk through Central Park, dinner, a movie, and finally, a night spent in Dick’s apartment, fucking the smell of their lovemaking deep into Dick’s mattress.

A few weeks later, Jason dropped by again, but this time, he brought food, and they marathoned Disney movies into the early hours of the morning or when Dick fell asleep against Jay. When he woke up, Dick was alone, tucked into his bed, and a fresh pot of coffee on his counter, but no sign of Jay in sight.

Dick did not see Jay again for three whole months, but they texted each other regularly, and it was almost like Dick _was _seeing Jay every day.

And he was more than okay with that.

~

** _Jay: Hey, Dickie! I’m going to be in popping in tomorrow, sometime in the morning, probably. You up for breakfast?_ **

Dick could not describe the burst of happiness he had felt when he saw Jay’s text. It had been a month since he last saw his boyfriend. He immediately texted back his approval for Jay’s idea.

He promised to meet Jay at a little café just down the street from the Nightingale. Dick spent most of his day off cleaning his apartment in preparation for Jay’s visit that would most likely end up in his room, unless Jay was staying in a hotel.

Late into the afternoon, Dick gets a call from Robert. Someone was sick, and they needed Dick to fill in for a group dance. Dick hated group dances, but when Robert promised him double the night’s pay for just one dance, Dick agreed.

He hauled his ass to the Nightingale, ran through the dance a few times with the rest of the group, before it was time to go on.

The club had been rented out for a bachelorette party that evening, so most of the dancers were men, and as usual, Dick was the most popular of them.

The ladies begged him to do a solo, and Dick declined them several times, but when Robert gave him a begging look as well, Dick said yes.

So he ended up staying at the club until midnight. By then, it was pitch black out and freezing cold. Dick, in leggings and a light jacket, was not looking forward to walking home like that.

Thankfully, his apartment was close. Dick walked briskly home, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his breath forming little puffs in front of him as he passed under dim street lamps.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him, pulling him into a dark alleyway.

“Is this this one?” a voice grunted somewhere to his left.

“Yeah, yeah,” a second voice said. “Man walking by here at midnight. ‘s gotta be him!”

“He ain’t in a trench coat, though!” the first voice protested.

“So a little detail was messed up,” the second voice growled. “Hurry up, knock ‘im out already!”

Dick struggled against his captives, managing to avoid the cloth that was coming to cover his mouth.

“Hel-” he started to scream, but a gloved hand covered his mouth. The glove tasted like dirty and motor oil. It was disgusting. Dick managed to elbow the one holding him quite hard, and he kneed the other between the legs.

Not exactly refined fighting, but Dick was a bit rusty. He ran, leaving his bag behind, tearing down the streets, away from his apartment and back towards the Nightingale.

When Dick got to the club, he cursed when he found the door locked. His key had been left in his bag, which was still in the alleyway, if the two men had not taken it.

“Hey.”

Dick whipped around, thinking it was one of the two men, but instead, he was met with an unfamiliar figure with a bright red helmet that covered his entire head.

The figure tossed Dick a black bag, and it took Dick a second to recognize it as his bag.

“You left it,” the person said, their voice distorted by a voice scrambler.

Dick’s heart was still pounding. He was breathing hard, but not because he was breathless from the run, not because it was a long run, but because he could not tear his eyes off of the person’s chest.

The person gave a grunt. “Yeah, you’re welcome.” Just when Dick thought he was going to leave, the person took a step forward. “Why were those guys after you?”

Dick could not breathe. The symbol on the man’s chest was a bit different from what Dick was used to, but it was unmistakably a bat. A bat symbol. Complete with the strange outfit and the hidden face, Dick was almost certain the person behind the mask knew him. Which meant that Dick had to _go_.

Dick spun on his heels stiffly and started away, without his bag again.

“Hey! What the hell, man?”

Dick walked faster. He needed to get away, or he might pass out. He started running when he heard footsteps following him. Suddenly, the person grabbed his arm.

“Let me go!” Dick gasped, panicked and on the verge of being overwhelmed by tears. “Please, just- just let me go.”

“Hey, hey,” the person said, sounding like they were trying to soften their tone, but their voice scrambler was not helpful. “Just take deep breaths. I’ll take you home, okay?”

“No!” Dick yelled. “No! Just- Just go away!” He pushed away the man’s hand and continued on his way, fully aware that the mysterious vigilante was staring at his back as he went.

Dick went straight home, and no one came after him again. He fell into an uneasy sleep that night.

The next morning, Dick dragged himself to the café, and he did not even have the urge to feel a bit happy when he saw Jay’s bike in front of the café.

Jay stood up to kiss him when he walked in but quickly noticed Dick’s depressed mood. “Hey, Dickie,” Jay said softly, his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

Dick gave him a listless shrug. “Stuff happened,” he muttered.

“Oh, no!” Jay said, quickly pushing his coffee towards Dick, who took a very long gulp of it. “What happened, baby?” he asked softly.

Dick sighed. His tired blue eyes flickered up to Jay’s. “Family stuff,” he said.

“You’ve never mentioned your family before,” Jay said softly. “Are you not in touch with them anymore?”

“Something like that,” Dick said. “I don’t like talking about them.”

“Oh,” Jay said. He gave Dick a small smile and taking one of Dick’s hands into his. “I know how you feel, Dickie,” he said. “I’m not fond of my family either. Either of them.”

Dick’s eyebrows raised slightly. “You have two families?”

Jay nodded. “I lived with my biological parents up until I was seven-years-old. Then shit happened, and I ended up on the streets as an orphan. Somehow got adopted. More shit happened, and I try to avoid them now.”

“Oh.” Dick blinked at Jay. “Sounds… kinda similar to my experience,” he said.

“Really?” Jay asked. “But I’m sure your story can’t be as outrageous and crazy as mine.”

Dick laughed humorlessly. “Trust me, it’s probably crazier.”

Jay leaned in with a smirk. “I grew up on the streets of Gotham until I was fifteen. I learned to lie, steal, and fight dirty.”

“I watched my parents die right in front of me,” Dick replied flatly.

Jay seemed unperturbed by that. He looked Dick straight in the eye and very calmly said, “I was adopted by Bruce Wayne.”

Dick’s mouth had been halfway open to say his next words. But they suddenly died. They died faster than Dick’s dreams for his future before _his _death. And they certainly died faster than _him_. _Him_, an almost ghostly memory of a boy who Dick tried so, so, _so_ hard to forget, as much as it pained him to. And yet… now that the puzzle pieces fell into place, Dick was almost certain it was the same _him_ sitting in front of Dick in that café, staring at Dick with intensely blue eyes.

“Dick?” Jay asked softly. “You alright?”

No, Dick was _not _alright. He tried to breathe. It sounded like a weak wheeze.

Almost immediately, Jay was on his feet. “Dickie…?!”

Dick was shutting down fast. He could not handle the mental shock that was suddenly delivered to his body, especially after a similar mental shock from the night before. He blacked out right there.

The last thing he saw was Jay’s worried face.

Jay.

Jay-_son_.

The dead son.


	6. Heal These Wounds

Dick awoke in a brightly lit hospital room. It had been very long since Dick found himself lying in a hospital room.

It was a very bare room, void of machines. It only had a small table with a vase of fake flowers to add color, and a single chair under the window.

The chair was occupied by a person who sat there on his phone.

Dick almost jumped in surprise, but he managed to remain calm. It turned out that years of training really could not be lost so easily.

“How did you find me?” was the first thing Dick asked.

The person glanced up sharply, realizing that Dick was awake. “Dick-” He started to stand.

“No, sit there,” Dick said flatly. “How did you find me?”

“I- I didn’t,” Jason said with a sigh as he sank back into his chair. “It was a complete coincidence.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m telling the truth, Dick,” Jason said in a soft voice. “I really am.”

“You died,” Dick said, his voice suddenly getting choked up. “I- I saw your _body_, Jason.”

“I know,” Jason said, sounding very calm. “Like I said, shit happened. I don’t really know what, but I came back to life. Came back and found that you had _left _while I was gone. Why, Dick?”

“Why?" Dick laughed humorlessly. "I'll tell you why. I left because I felt _responsible,” _Dick said, sitting up quickly. There was a brief spell of dizziness, then, he managed to level Jason with a glare. “It was my fault you snuck out and left. Under _my _watch. I couldn’t deal with that guilt. I had to go.”

“And I blamed myself for driving you away,” Jason said harshly. “But I stayed, didn’t I? I can’t stand most of our family, but I still stayed, and you know why? Because I have hope that someday you’d come back to us. That if I bring you back, they’ll accept me a little more.”

“Why wouldn’t they accept you, Jay?” Dick asked. “You’re- They love you!”

Jason snorted. “Things are different now,” he said. “But they still all love you. Even the new ones.”

“The new ones?” Dick echoed.

Jason quirked half a smile. “Yeah, two little brats who were Robin after us. Tim Drake and Damian Wayne.”

Dick’s eyebrows furrowed. “Drake? Like… Jack Drake’s son?”

“That’s the one,” Jason said.

“So Bruce adopted two more, huh? You’d think he learned his lesson,” Dick said with a bitter laugh.

“Tim's story is more complicated than that. And Damian’s actually his biological son. His mother’s Talia al Ghul.”

Dick stared at Jason like he grew a second head. “What the fuck?” he asked.

Jason chuckled and even seemed to have a slight tinge of red to his cheeks. “Yeah, there’s some fucked up history there.” Then, his expression softened as he looked at Dick. “But we’ve all really missed you, Dickie. Not a day goes by where I didn’t think about you.”

“Well, you’ve been effectively lying to me for the past year, so I don’t know if you’re not lying now,” Dick bit back harshly, scowling again. “Like the man with the red bat symbol. That was you, wasn’t it? You didn’t say anything this morning.”

“I wasn’t lying to you, Dick. I just left some facts out and worded some things differently, that’s all. And yes… that was me, but I couldn’t just tell you then. You saw how you reacted just from seeing me. But I have _never _lied to you, Dickiebird.”

The nickname made Dick’s heart skip a beat. It had been so long since he had been called Dickiebird. And only Jason called him that. His Jason, who was really, really back from the dead. Tears welled up in Dick’s eyes without his permission.

“Really?” he whispered.

Jason nodded solemnly. “Really.”

There was a moment of silence, and then Dick let it all out. He started crying, curling up on the bed and just sobbing. Jason stood up and came to sit down next to him. He hugged Dick, and Dick leaned into him without a second thought.

“It’s okay, Dickie,” Jason whispered. “You’re alright now. I’ve got you.”

~

“Hey, Dickie?” Jason asked as he was sitting on Dick’s couch.

Dick was stretched on the couch, his head lying in Jason’s lap. “Hm?” Dick asked, crunching loudly on his chips, as his eyes were glued to the TV.

“Have you ever wanted to go back to Gotham?”

Dick stopped eating immediately. His eyes shot up to Jason, wide and scared. Jason started gently rubbing circles into Dick’s shoulder to calm him down.

It had been a month since Dick made the connection between Jay and Jason, and they decided not to let that get between what they were starting to build. But Jason was only letting Dick get used to the idea before bringing it up again.

“Gotham? No,” Dick said shortly. He went back to his chips.

“Ever?” Jason pressed. “It’s your home though,” he said. “Mine too.”

“Do you want to go back?” Dick challenged. “Because you’re free to go. But this is my home now. New York City.”

Jason sighed. “Everyone misses you though.”

“You- You haven’t told them about me, have you?” Dick asked, starting to sit up.

“No, no,” Jason said. “Nothing like that. You just come up in conversation quite a bit. And the mood just darkens when you do.”

“Oh,” Dick said softly. There was a long silence before he spoke again. “I can’t go back,” he whispered. “I’ve disappointed them too much.”

“No!” Jason said quickly. “No one thinks that. God, Bruce spends his days reminiscing about his favorite son. Tim admires you like you hung the fucking sun. And Damian- Well, Damian doesn’t think much of you yet, but he knows very well how much everyone else loves you, so he’s just jealous.”

Dick gave a small laugh at that.

“Barbara misses you too. Alfred. Your old friends from the Titans. _Me_.”

“But I’m right here, Jay,” Dick said teasingly, scrunching up his nose cutely. “You can’t miss me when I’m right here.”

Jason smiled and laughed, and he let the topic go because Dick changed the topic so insistently. “Yeah,” he said. He leaned over and kissed Dick’s forehead. “I’ve got you right here.”

Still, Jason knew he would not give up. Slowly but surely, he would convince Dick of coming back to Gotham, however long it took.


	7. To New Beginnings and Chocolate Chip Cookies

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

_“Master Jason?”_

“…”

_“Master Jason? Are you there?” _

“I’ll be coming to the Manor tomorrow.”

_“Oh? Well, I’ll make your favorite cookies, I suppose.”_

“No, make chocolate chip.”

_“Chocolate chip?”_

“I’m bringing a friend. He misses your cookies.”

~

“You look so nervous,” Jason laughed, glancing over at Dick. “There’s nothing to be worried about.”

Dick bit his lower lip, grimacing at Gotham’s dark, gloomy, streets and tall skyscrapers. “You say that, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I just- I haven’t been back for… seven years. I don’t know anything about this city anymore. It’s- It’s not my city anymore.”

“Of course it’s your city, Dick!” Jason said. “She’s your city as much as you are hers!”

“I thought I was yours,” Dick said, attempting to joke.

Thankfully, Jason smiled. “You are. But Gotham’s like… a mother. You can’t ever truly leave her. She’s always looming around somewhere, and one day, you have to go back.”

Dick took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can do this, Jason. I’m- I’m not ready.” He glanced nervously at the street again.

Jason sighed. “Stop underestimating what you can do, Dick,” he said. “Where’s the boy that did quadruple flips off buildings without a line and gets benched for a week?”

“That’s not me anymore, Jay.”

“It _is _you. You just have to find him under all those anxieties and fears you’ve suffocated him under. C’mon, we’re here.”

Jason pulled to a stop in front of an apartment building. It was not overly lavish, nor was it the perfect place for a safe house, so Dick assumed it was the place Jason usually lived in while in Gotham, besides the Manor.

Jason led Dick up two flights of stairs and unlocked the door of apartment 3C. He pushed the door open, gesturing inside with a hand and a small smile.

Dick returned the smile uncertainly. He stepped into the dark apartment. It smelled lightly of dust, probably since Jason spent the past month in New York City, but from whatever dark shapes he could make out, it seemed comfortable, not too cluttered, nor too spacious.

That is, one of the shapes moved, swinging towards Dick fast.

Dick barely had the chance to scream or dodge before a burning pain burst from his thigh.

“Argh!” He yelped, stumbling backwards and falling to the ground.

The lights flicked on immediately, and Dick found himself being glared down at by a girl in a wheelchair. She peered down at Dick from over her glasses, and her arms were crossed. In one hand, she held a metal stick, with blue bands around each end and special grips on the side in her hand.

Seeing the object made Dick’s leg throb in the same shape.

“Babs,” Jason said, blinking twice. “Er… hi.”

Barbara turned her head sharply to the side, glaring at Jason as well. “You didn’t think to _tell me_?”

“Sorry,” Jason said sheepishly. “I… uh, I didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want me to.”

“And you _listened _to this _idiot?!”_ She snapped, pointing the stick at Dick’s face, nearly missing his perfect nose.

Dick nearly went cross-eyed looking at it. He looked back at Barbara. “…Babs?” His eyes widened. “Holy shit, _Babs?_ I barely recognize you!” He sat up straight, forgetting about the welt on his leg and starting forward to give her a hug.

“Stay back, Grayson. I’m angry,” she snarled, slashing the metal stick to emphasize her point.

“But-”

“But nothing! Did you really think it was a good idea for you to disappear completely and erase all traces of yourself from existence? And tell no one at all about this decision? And _assume _that we’ll all be okay with it?” she started, her eyes blazing with fury. “We had no means to track you down whatsoever, and even _Bruce _had no idea what happened to you after you left! We didn’t know if you were dead or alive, healthy or sick, if you found a job and got married, or if you’re living out on the streets doing drugs!”

“Babs, I-” Dick stood and held his hands out as a peaceful gesture.

“No!” she yelled. She brought the stick down on his forearm with surprising strength. “I’m not going to forgive you, and I’m not going to accept your apology!”

Dick rubbed his arm with a frown. It was definitely going to bruise, and then he would have some explaining to do when he got back to work. Then, he sighed. “I’m not asking for you forgiveness, and I can’t say I regret doing what I did.”

“I’ll make you regret it,” she snarled.

“Okay, Barbara,” Jason said with a bit of a nervous laugh. “I think that’s enough lecturing for now. It’s his first night in Gotham in seven years. Go easy on him, ‘kay?”

Barbara crossed her arms again, pursing her lips. “Does Bruce know?”

“Not yet,” Jason said. “Haven’t told anyone… except Alfred. And you found out. You didn’t tell B did you?”

She sighed. “No. I wanted to yell at him first before Dick was bombarded with anything more.”

Jason smiled. “Okay, great! Now that that’s settled, have you eaten yet?”

She shook her head. “I’ll take Italian. The largest helping of spaghetti you can order and get delivered within half an hour.”

Jason mock saluted her. “Sure thing, Cap’n.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t call me that.”

Jason went to the next room to order. Barbara turned her attention back to Dick, who stood there nervously, eyeing the welt on his arm that was slowly turning green.

Barbara stared at him for a moment before letting out a long breath. Her shoulders dropped, and she opened her arms. “C’mere, you asshole,” she said softly.

Dick smiled and wasted no time giving her a huge hug. He made sure to be considerate about the wheelchair, which he would have to ask about later.

Barbara pulled him in hard, fisting his t-shirt.

“You’re an idiot,” she muttered into his ear, her voice sounding suspiciously unsteady. He hugged her for a full minute. When she pulled away, Barbara immediately went to wipe at her eyes, sniffing once and fixing Dick with a glare again. Then, she reached under her wheelchair and pulled out another metal stick, one that matched the one in her hand. She slapped it into Dick’s chest. “There.”

Dick caught one, but the other one clattered to the ground. He bent down to pick it up. He ran his hand over the smooth metal, one cool, the other warm from Barbara’s hand. He turned it over in his hand a couple times, a small frown on his face.

“…These are… Nightwing’s escrimas?” he asked softly.

“They’re _your _escrimas,” Barbara corrected. “And don’t give me that ‘that’s not me’ crap. I don’t want to hear it. They’re yours, and you left them behind, and I’m offended.”

Dick curled his hand around the foreign yet familiar weapons. Barbara had given them to him when he debuted as Nightwing, only to leave them behind two years later when he ran away.

“Thank you,” Dick whispered.

Barbara smiled softly. “I’m just glad you’re back, Dick. Are you… Are you here to stay?”

Dick swallowed back his rising tears. “I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to… get involved in all this again.”

“But you’ll keep in contact with us?” Barbara’s expression was worried.

Dick nodded. “That, I can promise.”

Jason popped his head back in. “Sob fest over? So I ordered a party size spaghetti dish, to serve ten? You guys think we can eat all of that?”

“Hell yeah!” Barbara cheered, turning her wheelchair around. “I can eat for at least three.”

“I can probably do four,” Jason said. “You, Dickie?”

“Two at most,” Dick said. At Barbara’s incredulous expression, he explained, “I’m supposed to be keeping a dancer’s body now. I don’t burn off calories as easily as Jason does.”

“Hm, you _are _looking a bit skinny,” Barbara teased.

“I am not,” Dick argued. “I have a strict diet to stick to, and I intend to keep to it. But if you happen to have cereal, I will gladly eat that.”

Jason laughed. “Damn,” he sighed. “You seriously have not changed at all,” he said with a fond smile. “You just look very different.”

“Do I really?” Dick asked, a bit self-conscious, touching his now short hair. He got it cut spontaneously, just a few hours before Jason picked him up to drive to Gotham.

“No, not in a bad way. Before you had it cut, with your long hair, you didn’t look like you at all. Made you look a lot older, actually. Older, as in mature.”

Dick shrugged. “Thought I should cut it, you know, signify new beginnings.”

Jason smiled and walked over, putting his arms around Dick’s waist.

“Yeah, new beginnings.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this work unfinished in my "to-write" list for over a year now, and this gave me a chance to finally complete it! I hope you guys like this! (I didn't make it as angsty as I first intended it to be) <3


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